(First published on my blog 14th August 2013)
I can honestly say that I’ve never left a scathing, personal review for a book. (Occasionally I have left a harsher review if I feel the author has cheated the reader or propagated something harmful with their words.) That’s not to say I haven’t thought personal comments, I just haven’t felt the need to shout about it. I may be being too laid back, but I feel that the only times to speak up on the review front are when you have a genuine complaint or something has totally knocked your socks off. That said, in the right company with a group of trusted friends I have said some very catty things about certain books – never without cause but still. Was it necessary?
I’ll get my usual tangent in early here; the origins of the phrase ‘humble pie’ dates back to the middle ages when serving folk and the upper crust (another good phrase) all ate at the same board in the same hall. How well to do you were depended on how high above or far below the salt cellar you were seated. Anyway, the nobility hunted for a past time and when successful, deer and other kills were given to the kitchen for preparation. The off cuts, the bits no one really wanted, eyes, ears, intestines etc were known as ‘umbles’. These, in true waste not want not fashion, were mashed up and made into pies to feed the servants – who were sat significantly below the salt cellar. As the English language progressed those who could read and write dictated how English was to appear written down. They developed a curious propensity for adding ‘Hs’ onto words beginning with a vowel. ‘Umbles’ became ‘humble’ – hence ‘humble pie’.
I really hope you’re still with me.
How does this tie in with my statement about book reviews? That’s where the self editing comes in. While publishing houses and agents, if you are lucky enough to have a contract with either, do provide some editing still, nowadays it is far less than it used to be. You want your book to be as good as it possibly can be before submitting it for two reasons; one – it’s far more likely to get picked up if it looks like it needs less work done to it .(Editing is expensive) two – the more you do yourself, the better condition you get your book into, the better prospect you’ll appear to be long term. You can be trusted to make necessary changes.
This is all well and good. Editing, you say? I can do that. I mean I wrote it so how hard can it be?
Very hard. Excruciatingly painful. Brain meltingly, head achingly, tooth grindingly bad. Soul rending at times.
Here’s the big secret fellow writerly folks; Editing your book and doing necessary re-writes is ten/ twenty/ a hundred times harder than writing it. Writing the jolly little begger is a walk in the park by comparison.
I’ve got to the stage where I know what to do and I went on a fabulous self edit your novel course which taught me how to do it. At the moment I’m putting it into practice. It is difficult. Major understatement.
I’m roasting my prime haunch of venison, hopefully it will fall mouthwateringly off the bone, smothered in butter and herbs…but I won’t be tasting it. I’m preparing it for the consumers I hope will be drawn to the table by the aroma. Meanwhile I do have this unappealing but substantial pile of off cuts stacking up beside me. Umbles you might say. The bits no one else wants. They do say nothing in writing is wasted…guess I’ll be making me a pie then.
It is shockingly hard to write a book. I don’t have a sufficiently strong verb or adverb, not even amongst my umbles, for how hard editing that book is. Yes, crap does get published. Yes, you or I may be better writers who could have done it better. No we don’t have the right to go nuclear with our slanging – not on a public forum anyway. I’m not the thought police. Neither though, am I the arbiter of literary crapness. One person’s excrement is another persons golden read after all.
So what have I learned from around this juicy, bitter mouthful of umble pie? Criticize constructively and honestly. But don’t ever fall down the rabbit hole into being cruel or judgemental. Authors do read reviews – wouldn’t it be great to give useful feedback rather than tell them it’s donkey dung but not why? You don’t have to lie and say you like something when you don’t but remember how hard creating a book is, and how easy judging someone’s book is by comparison.
I’ll be bearing that in mind from now on. If I survive this self edit.
One day the book on the firing line might be yours. Think about it.